Time to Rename the Republican Party

Sometimes, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to give a political party a new name. Since the so-called Republican Party is no longer the party of the American Republic, but seeks to drag their once honourable name through the mud of imperial expansion, theocracy, and mindless xenophobia, it stands to reason that the Republican Party should chose a new, more appropriate name.

Some possibilities:

The Imperial President's Party

The 51% = Everyone Who Matters (as long as they're our 51%) Party

The Pro-Life Until They're Born, Kill 'Em All Once They're Out Of The Womb Party

The Jesus Will Wear a Rolex On His Television Show (and if He doesn't we'll shoot Him and find somebody else to be Jesus) Party

The Chickenhawk Party

The Outsourcing Party

The We Don't Want To Bring Back Slavery, Temps Are Cheaper Party

The Alexander Hamilton Party

The Control Population With The Four Horsemen Party

The Don't Worry About the Oil, The Rapture Will Come Before We Run Out Party

The We're Just Doing What The Almighty Would Do If He Knew All The Facts Party

The Love Thy Neighbour, As Long As Thy Neighbour Is Not Gay, Nor Ill, Nor Poor, Nor Non-Christian, Nor A Liberal, Nor UnAmerican, Nor Someone Whose Job Must Be Sent Abroad For The Good Of Thy Stockholders Party

The Party of Masters and Dupes

The American Nazi Party

Up Kenyon College!!

I just got an email from President S. Georgia Nugent of Kenyon College, my alma mater. Here's the first paragraph:

The enthusiastic and dedicated response of Kenyon students to yesterday's presidential election has captured the attention of the national news media. Like many voting locations in the key swing state of Ohio, Gambier was overwhelmed by the huge student turnout, which led to a wait of up to nine hours to vote at the Gambier Community Center. In indomitable Kenyon fashion, students and other hopeful voters remained in line, community members brought chairs and refreshments, faculty members advised students on voting rights, and, as of 3:55 a.m., every ballot was cast. Nationally, this has been a story about election involvement and participation, and Kenyon has been portrayed as a campus of informed and committed students.

Even as I'm writing this, the story appeared on the ABC nightly news. The town of Gambier was provided only two voting machines, allegedly because the Knox County Board of Elections underestimated the number of voters expected in Gambier.

Of course, their reasoning had nothing to do with the fact that Gambier, largely populated by students, faculty, staff, and retired faculty of Kenyon College, is probably the most heavily Democratic precinct of a largely rural and conservative county. Right?

Link to reports on the Kenyon website.

Hurrah for the voters of Gambier, who would not let their ballots go uncast, despite rain and a nine hour wait spent largely outdoors.

Hurrah for the volunteers, including President Nugent herself, who brought food and water for those waiting in queue.

Hurrah for Kenyon.

And bad luck to the Knox County Board of Elections.