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ap_aelfwineOr "Andrew goes completely Hunter S. Thompson in response to fantasy-bashing comments."
This clown is obviously just trolling to start an exchange of flames. Besides which, I don't want to debate with the worthless little puke, I want to meet him at dawn, and afterwards break my fast alone.
Since I can't do that, I'll just blow off steam at the arschloch here.
You really don't want to read this. It would have made the late Hunter S. Thompson (RIP) blush.
In response to [LJ owner--also no one on my flist]'s original post of "thoughts on fantasy writing":
Some idiot (nobody on my flist) said:
>But don't these rules (and the ones you posted subsequently) effectively eliminate every >fantasy story ever written? Not that I'm opposed to that, necessarily...
I said:
>No, only the bad ones. Fantasy is a much broader category than just sword and sorcery and >post-Tolkien-ripoffs.
The same idiot said:
>Well, it is and it isn't. Speaking as a bookseller, the general public hears "fantasy" as >"sword & sorcery and post-Tolkien-ripoffs." You can point out to them that, say, Jonathan >Strange and Mr. Norrell or American God are also fantasy novels, and those who don't just >look at you blankly will likely just say, "then why are those in general fiction and not in >fantasy?"
>
>Besides, it seems to me that those are the kind of books [LJ owner--also no one on my >flist] is talking abou here, so I stand by my statement.
>
Christ, you fecking moron!!! A fifth of the general public thinks the sun revolves about the earth!!! The general public's opinion is shite! And what goes into the fantasy stacks is a hell of a lot more than just S&S and post-Tolkien-ripoffs!
Christ, I've _seen_ American Gods and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell in the fantasy stacks at bookshops. What kind of fecking bookseller are you? One that works at Walmart? Or some Z-grade chain shop in a rat-haunted mall in the middle of West Buggering Nowhere?
Besides which,[LJ owner--also no one on my flist]'s original post was a list of rules for writing _good_ fantasies, or at least not-bad ones. Which suggests that such things do exist, you dead-sheep-buggering son of two brothers conceived on a leprous corpse! Doesn't it? That's how logic works here on Earth. Does it work differently on whatever worthless blob of rock, not meriting the designation of asteroid, let alone planet, which you were spawned upon?
If you were to get smashed on rejected-at-the-factory malt liquor and summon up whatever tiny bits of cojones you could beg or borrow and call me out for my full and accurate description of your heritage, you pissant puke, you pustule on the arse of a diseased orc-hobbit hybrid, I'd choose pistols! Because if a sword got whatever thin and stinking fluid you use for blood on it I'd throw it in a blast furnace rather than chance its someday being used to kill some more worthy creature, such as a syphilitic mutant baboon or a rotting maggot-infested pithecanthropoid zombie.
Comprenez?
This clown is obviously just trolling to start an exchange of flames. Besides which, I don't want to debate with the worthless little puke, I want to meet him at dawn, and afterwards break my fast alone.
Since I can't do that, I'll just blow off steam at the arschloch here.
You really don't want to read this. It would have made the late Hunter S. Thompson (RIP) blush.
In response to [LJ owner--also no one on my flist]'s original post of "thoughts on fantasy writing":
Some idiot (nobody on my flist) said:
>But don't these rules (and the ones you posted subsequently) effectively eliminate every >fantasy story ever written? Not that I'm opposed to that, necessarily...
I said:
>No, only the bad ones. Fantasy is a much broader category than just sword and sorcery and >post-Tolkien-ripoffs.
The same idiot said:
>Well, it is and it isn't. Speaking as a bookseller, the general public hears "fantasy" as >"sword & sorcery and post-Tolkien-ripoffs." You can point out to them that, say, Jonathan >Strange and Mr. Norrell or American God are also fantasy novels, and those who don't just >look at you blankly will likely just say, "then why are those in general fiction and not in >fantasy?"
>
>Besides, it seems to me that those are the kind of books [LJ owner--also no one on my >flist] is talking abou here, so I stand by my statement.
>
Christ, you fecking moron!!! A fifth of the general public thinks the sun revolves about the earth!!! The general public's opinion is shite! And what goes into the fantasy stacks is a hell of a lot more than just S&S and post-Tolkien-ripoffs!
Christ, I've _seen_ American Gods and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell in the fantasy stacks at bookshops. What kind of fecking bookseller are you? One that works at Walmart? Or some Z-grade chain shop in a rat-haunted mall in the middle of West Buggering Nowhere?
Besides which,[LJ owner--also no one on my flist]'s original post was a list of rules for writing _good_ fantasies, or at least not-bad ones. Which suggests that such things do exist, you dead-sheep-buggering son of two brothers conceived on a leprous corpse! Doesn't it? That's how logic works here on Earth. Does it work differently on whatever worthless blob of rock, not meriting the designation of asteroid, let alone planet, which you were spawned upon?
If you were to get smashed on rejected-at-the-factory malt liquor and summon up whatever tiny bits of cojones you could beg or borrow and call me out for my full and accurate description of your heritage, you pissant puke, you pustule on the arse of a diseased orc-hobbit hybrid, I'd choose pistols! Because if a sword got whatever thin and stinking fluid you use for blood on it I'd throw it in a blast furnace rather than chance its someday being used to kill some more worthy creature, such as a syphilitic mutant baboon or a rotting maggot-infested pithecanthropoid zombie.
Comprenez?
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Brava!
Date: 2005-10-30 08:56 pm (UTC)Thanks,
Suika (You left out camel-fornicating son of a syphilitic goat ^_^ )
Re: Brava!
Date: 2005-10-30 11:02 pm (UTC)I know it wasn't the intent, but this was just so over-the-top it made me laugh.
Well, I was kind of hoping it might have that effect...
(You left out camel-fornicating son of a syphilitic goat ^_^ )
Darn. I knew I'd forgot something :-)
Good to hear from you!
Cheers,
Andrew